I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about going to the gym, and they said, “I need someone telling me what to do, or I will not do it. I’m not like you; you’re motivated, and you do it.”

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The thing is, I’m motivated now.

I wasn’t when I started. I just wanted results.

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Old me wanted to already be “fit.” I didn’t want to go through the sweating, the uncomfortable jiggling, the aches and pains as my body adapted to new movement patterns. I didn’t want to learn how to do something new. I didn’t want to follow a diet or take the fun out of eating. I wanted what I saw in 17 magazine. I wanted to be skinnier and more toned. The societal pressure placed on every young woman from the 80’s, “Be skinnier and tone up.”

I know now that all that bullshit is false marketing, and those women were way under-eating and didn’t actually have real developed muscle.

We were led to believe that the path to those bodies was low carb, low fat, no sugar, and cutesy workouts with 5 - 10lbs dumbbells. When the reality is a lot of that was photoshop and not enough calories.

I saw the ladies in media and thought that’s what would make me feel sexy, but I really had no idea of what it would actually take to get the results I wanted.

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Motivation starts with commitment.

It starts with deciding on a goal and saying that you’re going to get after that goal, no matter what obstacles come up, no matter how much you stand in your own way, no matter how much the world works to make your path more difficult.

You won’t have that much conviction when you start - but being committed to just starting, trying a new way, and trusting the process is all you need.

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Motivation comes AFTER action.

Motivation comes AFTER you start feeling and seeing results.

Motivation comes from doing the thing.

You don’t start with it.

You build it.

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You start with a dream, and that desire can absolutely fuel your motivation. It can be the through line that you come back to again and again. But it’s not what will get you out of bed on those cold, dark, early mornings to go for your walk.

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Once you make a commitment to yourself that you want to go after this thing, then you start figuring out what it will take to get you there and how to break that down into manageable steps. And this is where a coach comes in. This is what I help you with in my signature 1:1 coaching program The FEED Method.

During my walk this morning, I was thinking about all the feelings that I had before I had this whole health thing figured out. And they went a little something like this:

Maybe you have felt all of these. The truth is that you will keep having these thoughts for the rest of your life. But if you get a good coach, you learn to develop the coping skills to work through them so that you can keep getting after it regardless of what your silly brain is telling you.
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Motivation comes when you start to show yourself that you are capable. You set out your clothes the night before and do all the things that get you to get up in the dark and go for a walk.

People want results, but they forget about the two most important steps - the work that comes BEFORE you can get yourself to do the thing and the work that comes AFTER you’ve done the thing.

The BEFORE - this is the setup, the planning, the checklist, the anticipating. In my coaching, I use The CARAT System.

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If it were as simple as saying, “Hey, I’m gonna get up and do a morning walk tomorrow,” - then everybody would be doing it, and we wouldn’t have an obesity epidemic in this country. But it’s not. You can’t go in blind. You have to actually do some work before you take action. (You also have to not get stuck in overthinking, which is very easy to do as well). It’s a delicate balance.

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The AFTER work is also just as important. You’ve gotten in your walk. You come back, and you feel fucking fire that you successfully got in a walk. What most people forget to do is to celebrate that you did it. You actually showed up for yourself. They look back at their week, and instead of celebrating what they did do, all they see are the missed opportunities, and they beat themselves up about what they didn’t achieve.

STOP that nonsense.

Celebrate every single small action you take towards your goals.

You put out your clothes — but didn’t make it out of bed. That’s okay - celebrate the behavior that you did do, even if it’s just celebrating that you wanted to, that you planned to, that you thought about it.

Start doing more of this. Then we can talk about how to navigate actually getting yourself to continue to follow through and keep doing it.

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If you're interested in coaching, I'm taking on 5 new clients to work with me through the end of the year and I want you to be one of them. Reply to this email or DM me on socials (@morgan.e.shepherd) to chat about what this could look like.

Cheers,

Morgan