I’m writing to you with a very, very heavy heart. My city of Los Angeles is burning; the hills and trails I’ve been running and cycling for the past 15 years are being ravaged. Many friend’s homes have been lost, and people have evacuated.

After the heaviness of 2024 - the genocide that continues in Gaza, and what we already know is to come in 2025, a racist buffoon soon to come into office, trans, gay, and women’s rights being revoked - I am sad.

I’ve been thinking a lot about who am I to speak and share my opinion. What is the point of building a business online when the reality we live in is so harsh and the struggles people face are so real? I am an incredibly privileged white woman, safe in her home, working for herself, I have all that I want and need. Who am I to speak out, to try and give others advice?

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For much of December, I’ve been silent, trying to navigate how to have a voice during these tumultuous times. I sat down to eat a home-cooked meal the other day and had a little aha moment, seeing my healthy little behaviors in a new light. They are the little ways I love myself.

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When I eat meals - that is me meeting my needs and saying to myself, I care enough about you to feed you. When I go for a walk on the treadmill, even when I don’t want to, I’m saying I love you enough to show up even when it’s hard. When I go to bed at 9 pm, I’m saying I love you. When I work hard to hit my protein goals, I’m saying I want to make sure you stay satiated and don’t fall into old craving patterns that lead to you eating a bunch of junk that makes you feel bad. When I head to the gym at 5 pm to get in a lift, even when I’m super tired from a long day, that’s me saying I love you.

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Who am I to have a voice? Nobody special. I’m just another person who’s experienced what it feels like to not love myself, to never feel good enough, to feel that there was something wrong with me, to not want to be here. So I make these little promises with myself; some days, I keep them, and some days, I just lay in bed with the covers over my head.

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I’m 28 pages into “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It,” a book by Kamal Ravikant where the premise is that you create this thought loop repeating the words “I love myself” over and over again. Even if you don’t believe it right away, by repeating it over and over, you begin to create new neuropathways of this thought pattern.

I also feel it resonates with the theories from the other book I am reading, “Women Living Deliciously,” by Florence Given. She talks about how we need to live in a way that brings more beauty, delight, and deliciousness into our lives. We need to date ourselves and show up for ourselves as the best lover possible. Delight in decorating our spaces, ourselves, and our experiences so that we can enjoy even the most mundane moments.

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These two books have really got me thinking about how I want to live and show up for myself. The phase I was reminded of today is “A rising tide raises all ships.” And the truth is that while my voice might just be another privileged white woman speaking her truth, maybe you can see the value in it. Show up for yourself even on the really hard days and keep the little promises you make with yourself that mean “I love you.”

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I’d love to know, what are the little promises that you keep with yourself that mean “I love you”?

Reply to this email or share in your IG stories and tag me @morgan.e.shepherd​

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Morgan