Hiya Reader,

You get to decide how you want to build your epic life.

Outside of the hustle, the grind, the struggle to meet your basic needs, societal pressures and capitalism, the privileges you may or may not have - you get to decide what you value, what matters most, and who you want to be.
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A term in psychology called the “Locus of control” refers to your belief that you, instead of some external forces you can’t influence, have control over the outcome of your life. The events in your life are the primary result of your own actions. (Wikipedia)

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It’s a spectrum, so obviously, there are things you can’t control, but in large part, you wake up each day and decide what actions to take. And, if you’re aware enough of your emotions and have developed strong emotional regulation skills - you get to decide how you want to feel.

There’s so much proof that people, regardless of their circumstances, still show up happy, smiling, enjoying life, and being grateful for what they have.

I am grateful for what I have, the person I’ve become, and the person I know I can grow to be. I built this reality. I made choices and took action to get to where I am. I nurtured this identity and became this person.

I don’t know that I thought much about this until my dad passed away, but when he did, I took the time to think about what matters most. I revisit my values at the start of every year and check in every month, reflecting on whether or not I am living in alignment.

How am I spending my time?

What am I prioritizing?

What do I need to do that maybe I’m not doing to get to the life I want?

Even in tough times, how can I still put my values above all else?

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The biggest skill that I want to share with you today is the ability to discern what matters most, and to make that a priority, regardless of your situation.

Start with identifying your values - what matters?

List out all the ways that you are already living your values.

Lean into that more.

Identify areas where you are living out of alignment.

Be okay with saying no to the things that don’t align with that vision, say no to “busyness,” and say yes to what actually matters. Saying “No” is a skill that you can practice and build on.

For me, this ultimately came down to quitting my dream of becoming a chef and switching career paths. I know career change can seem impossible - the struggle is VERY real, but change is possible no matter how stuck you feel.

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Notice where you are encountering resistance and creating excuses stopping you from putting your values first. These are the skills of mindfulness and awareness that can be improved with practice.

Reduce that resistance by making things easier. This uses noticing and naming what is happening in the moment and anticipating obstacles.

Instead of focusing on all of your values, pick one. How can you embody the feeling of that value a little bit more every day?

Write it on the wall.

Create a vision board.

Check in with yourself regularly to see how you are doing.

Track it. How often are you feeling in alignment? Collecting data allows you to analyze what is actually happening and see areas where you can improve.

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Successfully following through with what you want starts with deciding it is possible and then taking one tiny action daily to get you closer to that goal.

Cheers,

Morgan